FOR THE FIRST TIME ON THE POTTY

The potty seat’s in place, so’s the step stool

I wonder when you’ll realize peeing in your pants is not cool

Who knew we’d need eight thousand Mickey pull-ups?

For months I’ve tried to get you to sit right there

Why even have a bathroom, it’s just not fair

Why won’t you just wear your underwear?

 

There’ll be actual pee-pee in the potty

It’ll be totally strange

But wow, am I so ready for this change!

 

‘Cause for the first time in forever

Without pull-ups you’ll be all right

For the first time in forever

We won’t need to buy those pricey diapers for the night

 

Don’t know if you’re elated or just gassy

But if it’s the latter, please don’t make me guess

‘Cause for the first time in forever

I don’t want to clean up from your mess

 

I suddenly see you sitting there

A beautiful vision, don’t go anywhere

Here, I’ll stuff some chocolate in your face



For the first time in forever

We won't drag around that heavy diaper bag

For the first time in forever

Your pants won't have an unsightly sag



And I know it is totally crazy

To dream this would happen in just one day

But for the first time in forever

Please just listen to what I say

I can't start all over again tomorrow

So it has to be today



'Cause for the first time in forever

For the first time in forever

Just freakin' listen to what I have to say