“No Mommy! I don’t like time out! It’s soooo boring!” The
mere threat of the time out seemed to do the trick. He immediately pulled out
his garage and proceeded to put every last car away.
In that moment, I
wondered what exactly was so horrifying about being forced to take a time-out?
If someone approached me and
told me that I had to take ten WHOLE
minutes to just sit in a corner and DO NOTHING I would probably think that I had
fainted and gone to heaven. I began to contemplate some of the other things
children complain about that actually sound pretty darn good to me.
Don’t tell me what to
eat! If I won the lottery, one of the first luxuries I would allow myself
would be a personal chef. My children essentially have this luxury but for some
strange reason don’t seem to appreciate it as much as I would. My three-year
old is generally a good eater, so I have a rule that as long as he tries everything, he doesn’t have to eat
anything he doesn’t like. (Anyone else traumatized by the scene in Mommie Dearest when Joan Crawford makes
her daughter eat rare, bloody leftover meat for breakfast?) That said, my
patience is definitely put to the test when I hear, “I don’t want mac and
cheese, I want chicken fingers!”
I don’t want to wear
that! I think parents of girls receive a little more attitude in the
wardrobe department than I do, but my son definitely has his preferences when
it comes to clothing. Of course, these opinions are less focused on fashion and
are more in the vein of “I don’t like shirts with buttons” or “I don’t want to
wear a sweater today”. I think having a
personal shopper sounds pretty nice (although I guess we all have days when we
don’t want to wear shirts with buttons).
Can I stay up for
five more minutes!? How amazing would it be to get twelve, TWELVE, whole
hours of uninterrupted sleep every single night? My older son doesn’t take naps anymore and
while he always insists before bedtime that he is not even a little tired, he
always ends up crashing in under five minutes. And that brings me to another
complaint that I don’t understand…
Don’t make me nap
today! My one-year old is often fussy when being put down for his afternoon
nap, and when he is I usually take this time to go into a lengthy speech about
how I would be more than happy to switch places with him and climb into his
crib for a little afternoon snooze and let him entertain his brother all
afternoon. Often he’ll just stare at me like I’m crazy and eventually decides
to roll over and play with his activity center for a few minutes before passing
out.
I don’t want to take a
bath! How nice would it be to have someone draw you a nice, warm bath
every night. At this point, I’m lucky if I get three minutes in the shower each
morning before my one-year old starts screaming for me from his crib. Of
course, this toddler complaint is inevitably followed by “I don’t want to get
out of the bath!” Of course you don't.
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