CAN I HAVE A TIME-OUT?

The other day I was experiencing some resistance from my three-year old when I asked him to clean up his cars, so I threatened to give him a time-out if he didn’t start listening to me.

“No Mommy! I don’t like time out! It’s soooo boring!” The mere threat of the time out seemed to do the trick. He immediately pulled out his garage and proceeded to put every last car away.

In that moment, I wondered what exactly was so horrifying about being forced to take a time-out? If someone approached me and told me that I had to take ten WHOLE minutes to just sit in a corner and DO NOTHING I would probably think that I had fainted and gone to heaven. I began to contemplate some of the other things children complain about that actually sound pretty darn good to me.

Don’t tell me what to eat! If I won the lottery, one of the first luxuries I would allow myself would be a personal chef. My children essentially have this luxury but for some strange reason don’t seem to appreciate it as much as I would. My three-year old is generally a good eater, so I have a rule that as long as he tries everything, he doesn’t have to eat anything he doesn’t like. (Anyone else traumatized by the scene in Mommie Dearest when Joan Crawford makes her daughter eat rare, bloody leftover meat for breakfast?) That said, my patience is definitely put to the test when I hear, “I don’t want mac and cheese, I want chicken fingers!”

 

I don’t want to wear that! I think parents of girls receive a little more attitude in the wardrobe department than I do, but my son definitely has his preferences when it comes to clothing. Of course, these opinions are less focused on fashion and are more in the vein of “I don’t like shirts with buttons” or “I don’t want to wear a sweater today”.  I think having a personal shopper sounds pretty nice (although I guess we all have days when we don’t want to wear shirts with buttons).

Can I stay up for five more minutes!? How amazing would it be to get twelve, TWELVE, whole hours of uninterrupted sleep every single night? My older son doesn’t take naps anymore and while he always insists before bedtime that he is not even a little tired, he always ends up crashing in under five minutes. And that brings me to another complaint that I don’t understand…

Don’t make me nap today! My one-year old is often fussy when being put down for his afternoon nap, and when he is I usually take this time to go into a lengthy speech about how I would be more than happy to switch places with him and climb into his crib for a little afternoon snooze and let him entertain his brother all afternoon. Often he’ll just stare at me like I’m crazy and eventually decides to roll over and play with his activity center for a few minutes before passing out.

I don’t want to take a bath! How nice would it be to have someone draw you a nice, warm bath every night. At this point, I’m lucky if I get three minutes in the shower each morning before my one-year old starts screaming for me from his crib. Of course, this toddler complaint is inevitably followed by “I don’t want to get out of the bath!” Of course you don't.

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