Big mistake.
A few minutes later I panicked when I noticed that a
precious video I had taken earlier in the week of my two boys in music class
had been erased. This video made me happy, and now it had disappeared. After working
for a couple of hours to try and retrieve it, my husband somberly reported back
to me that the video had somehow not backed up and was gone.
At hearing this news, I immediately plummeted myself into
the various stages of grief. I told my husband there was no way this could
possibly be true. Call Apple! Call the President! Then anger. How could I have been so stupid as to have
given my cell phone to a toddler?! I haven’t finished a cup of coffee in over
five years, why did I have to attempt the impossible this morning!? After
shedding a few tears (and asking if we could call the President one more time)
I was finally willing to begin the process of accepting my loss.
If we’re all being honest, none of us has the time to
sit and watch these videos and pictures that pile up on our phones. Most of them will probably never be viewed again. And yet in recent months these
snapshots of life's little moments have become increasingly significant to me. I’m sure this is partly
due to having recently lost my mom. She was the queen of taking cell phone pictures,
and on her train ride home she would diligently text me a crazy amount of them
from our day together. Of course, every one of these captured memories holds a
significance I could never have imagined before she died.
The rational side of me (yes, it sometimes makes a
cameo) knows that while I may have lost this 53 second video from music class, I did not
lose the moment. I did not lose the memory. After “the incident” my
five-year-old could see that I was visibly upset and tried to come to my rescue
and console me.
“Mommy, I have a great idea. Why don’t we ask our
teacher next week if we can sing the song again the exact same way, and then we can
record it all over again.”
I smiled at my son’s sweet offer. I was saddened
with the knowledge that moments are fleeting, and we can never get them back in
the exact same way ever again. But I had also been reminded of something important.
There will always be another song to sing.