ARE WE THERE YET?!

“Life is a journey, not a destination.”

              -Ralph Waldo Emerson

What a lovely sentiment. We waste so much valuable time focusing on achievements and end points, while what we should be doing is savoring the countless precious moments that transpire before we even reach our destinations.

A lovely sentiment, indeed. Except to anyone with a toddler. To all of us worn-out and weary parents, I say it’s okay to just want to get to our destinations already.

At our house, we start off our journey each morning with pretty much the same routine. Grievances expressed regarding cereal choices. Squabbles over how many toys are allowed to be dragged into the car. (Am I a bad mother for limiting the count to seven?) Desperate pleas from my two-year-old who wants to strap himself into his own car seat. Sure, why not? It only takes you 29 minutes and all we have to do is get your older brother to school in under four minutes. And we only wasted seven minutes just now trying to explain why you and your five-year-old brother cannot switch car seats.

These daily morning battles can wear us down, but since this ain’t my first time at the rodeo, I know that this too shall pass. Somehow, these mind numbing and endless struggles we endure from toddlers to simply get from Point A to Point B are more or less forgotten over time, and we are just left with the memories from when we got to where we wanted to go.

When Big Bro was a mere 15-months-old my husband and I decided to take him with us to Ireland for our friends’ wedding. And then we bravely decided that since neither of us had been to London, we would stop there for a few days first. Here’s the thing: I know that there were plenty of very tough travel moments. Like when we realized that the car seat we were lugging around with us didn’t fit in the seats on the international flight. Or when our little guy just didn’t seem to get the hint about what you were supposed to be doing on a red-eye flight. Or when the mother sitting in the row behind me decided she would allow her three little kids to sleep under my seat. (Thankfully, the flight attendant put an end to that brilliant plan pretty quickly.)

And yet somehow when I think back on that trip, these little aggravations aren't the first things that pop into my head. All I remember are fun times on the London Eye, good food, great friends and a few pints of Guinness.

So to all those parents who are just trying to make it through the day, or through the next hour, or simply trying to make it to their cars in the morning without having nervous breakdowns, just keep in mind that while the journey of parenthood can be tough at times, the destination is almost always worth it.

 

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A Mother's Day

As the month of May quickly approaches and I walk through the card aisle in the drugstore I can already guess what people will be saying, or at least thinking.

Mother’s Day is going to be so difficult for you.

Well, yes, of course. And no, not really.

Mother’s Day will be painful not because I cannot hand deliver flowers and a card to my mom, but simply because it is another Sunday without my mom here with us. Another day I cannot share a joke or grumble that she is talking way too loud or watch her frantically hail down the ice cream truck with the kids. Another day that I cannot show off my new duvet cover and ask if she thinks that it brightens up the room. A trivial subject matter, but something she would have wanted to share her opinions about.

There are times that I am so overwhelmed that my mom is no longer here with me that I can barely catch my breath. Then there are moments when I have to remind myself that she is gone. I arrive home to a blinking light on my machine and my first thought is that it’s her. I leave a doctor’s appointment with my kids and I instinctively pick up my phone to deliver a detailed report. I drive by the train station where I would pick her up and for a brief moment I am compelled to stop the car and wait for her. The image of her clumsily climbing off the train and insisting that the conductor wave to her grandsons is so ingrained in my head that it feels like it is happening at that very moment.

Often during her visits she would insist on being driven to TJ Maxx or Michael’s or some other store where she would proceed to buy a few tchotchkes for her grandchildren. Sometimes I would smile at the cute purchases; other times I would bemoan the lack of space to store these random items. Now I am just so grateful that we have these little items all over the house to remember her by. A small statue of a boy playing baseball. Puppets in the shapes of vegetables. The easy button from Staples. A Thomas alarm clock. An abundance of garbage trucks and dump trucks and race cars. A stationery box for my son where she inscribed the words, “A special box for all the special things you will collect in your lifetime. You will need many more boxes.”    

On this Mother’s Day, like every other day since my mom’s passing, I will take deep breaths, shed a few tears and hopefully laugh a little. And I will try my best to resist hiding under my bright white duvet cover.    

AND THE AWARD GOES TO…

In honor of this year’s awards season, I have compiled a list of some unconventional but indispensable gift ideas for new parents. Newborn layettes, wipes warmers, bassinets and jumbo toys are nice, but if you want your gift to be something a new parent simply cannot live without, the following items will not disappoint.

First-time parents tend to be a bit anxious when trying to decipher whether their baby is sick, teething or simply a little fussy. I’ve found that the quick and easy-to-use Exergen Temporal Scanner can be a lifesaver. Some say it’s not quite as accurate as other methods, but it’s certainly a good starting point for figuring out if there is any immediate cause for concern.

The one item that no new parent can ever have too many of is diapers, so why not make sure they’re stocked up! Take a trip to a big box store like Costco or BJ’s, buy one or two big boxes of diapers, stick a bow on top and you’ve got yourself the most useful gift any parent could ever ask for. Tip: Do a little research first and find out what brand and size diapers they use.  

What is the one thing new parents always have too little of? Sleep! Why not put together a sleep-themed basket filled with goodies that will help infants get a little more shut-eye. My children never stayed swaddled in a receiving blanket for more than ten minutes, so I always relied on Halo Sleepsacks to keep them snuggly and warm. Sound machines are a great way to let the baby know that it’s time to settle down. Add a personalized blanket, a little stuffed animal or a cute crib sheet and you’re good to go. Tip: Make sure the stuffed animal is machine washable.

When mealtime consists of breast milk or formula, it’s hard to imagine needing much more than a burp cloth and a tiny bib to keep things neat and tidy. Yet eventually the day will arrive when mealtimes become so messy that some parents might consider moving as an alternative to cleaning up. If you know a new parent who doesn’t own a Dustbuster, hurry and buy one for them before the Cheerios hit the fan.

Clothing is always welcomed, but if you really want your gift to be remembered, buy something sized 12 months or up. I found that my first child was very well-dressed up until about nine months, until one day I looked in the closet and realized he didn’t have a thing to wear! A tip I learned from my mom: always avoid buying newborn-sized clothes, most outgrow them in about five minutes!

Baby gifts are always appreciated, but it never hurts to also bring a little something special for the exhausted new parents. Treat the new mom to a pedicure or provide the couple with movie tickets to give them an incentive to spend one night out of the house. While you’re at it, offer to babysit for an afternoon while the baby is napping to allow them to get out and run a few quick errands or even simply grab a cup of coffee in peace. You would be surprised at what two hours out of the house can do to refresh frazzled new parents.

What is the one gift that you would recommend for a new parent?

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REAL HOUSEWIVES ARE JUST LIKE TODDLERS

This post is dedicated to my mom, my favorite person to laugh with and my favorite person to watch the Real Housewives with.

Here is my list of the top ten ways the Real Housewives are just like toddlers:

1.      Lisa refuses to wear anything but pink.

2.      Ramona needs to bring a bottle with her wherever she goes to ensure that she always has something to drink.

3.      Carlton has a “playroom” in her house.

4.      LuAnn is constantly telling everyone that she is royalty.

5.      Yolanda refuses to have anything but juice at every meal.

6.      Teresa tends to throw food and flip tables when she doesn’t get her way.

7.      Jill needs to work on using her “inside voice”.

8.      Brandi doesn’t see anything wrong with someone peeing by the side of a pool at a party.

9.      Kim Z. hates it when her parents show up at her events.

10.  Everyone is always chauffeured around to wherever they need to go.

Which Real Housewife do you think is most like a toddler?

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BAGELS AND CREAM CHEESE

I arrived at my parents’ apartment at 9:00am that Saturday morning. I rang the bell and immediately heard the poodle’s bark. My mom opened the door and grabbed the bag of bagels from me. She asked if I brought any surprise treats for her.

I brought you an almond horn. I know it’s your favorite.

My mom casually thanked me and inquired if I had brought her any cookies in addition to the almond horn. I sighed and got to work setting the table and slicing bagels. I put the vegetable cream cheese out and my dad comes out to greet me with coffee.

No lox?

Of course I brought lox, Mom. I know how much you love it.

My parents and I sit down and the poodle assumes her spot under the table waiting for someone to accidentally drop some food. I sneak her little bites of my bagel which she quickly scoops up. I remind my mom that I don’t have much time because I don’t want to be late for my haircut. She informs me that I get too many haircuts.

I really don’t need you to lecture me every single time I schedule a haircut.

My mom smiles her signature toothy grin and proceeds with another lecture. She tells me that once in a while it wouldn’t hurt to listen to my mother. After all, she has been around a while and has learned a few things along the way.

We eat and we talk and as usual there is not a single moment of silence between us. We discuss plotlines from the show Parenthood. We talk about parenthood. About her two little grandkids who love her to pieces. I tell her about teacher conferences, gym classes, blog posts and upcoming holiday shows. She asks me what book she should read next and I tell her that she would like the new Delia Ephron book. She asks me what to get for her Secret Hanukkah person this year. I ask her who she has, and she says she has me.

Finally, even the almond horn is gone.

I really have to go. I don’t want to be late for my haircut.

I say goodbye and shut the door.

Except that I never had the chance to say goodbye. I never got to have that breakfast with my mom. She was already at the hospital that morning. I had been in the hospital room with her all night but never said goodbye because I didn’t think I had to. Not then.

She died that Saturday afternoon. When she passed away I was at her house. Feeding the poodle.

There are so many things I still have to tell her. There was never any silence between us. Now it is painfully quiet. I just want one more chance to tell her everything.

Your four-year-old grandson talks to Clifford when he has something to say to you. He is taking good care of him just like you asked him to.

Your one-year-old grandson seems to only want to play with the toys you got him. It’s like he’s playing with you. Are you there playing with him?

I should have brought you breakfast on Friday morning.

I love you, Mom.

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CARTOON TWEETS OF THE WEEK

Why doesn’t anyone ever dress up as me for #Halloween? #CaillouCravesAttention

But seriously, where the heck are my parents? #IsRubyMyMother?

How does #Obamacare affect my practice? #DocMcStuffinsGetsPolitical

Is #Sofia’s castle anywhere near mine? #MiketheKnightIsBored

Why do I have to climb over rocks, cross bridges, jump over muddy rivers and run through forests every freakin time I go out to play, but the Backyardigans never even have to leave their backyard? #DoraNeedsABreak

Does anyone happen to know Lisa Simpson’s phone number? #SidWantsAGirlfriend

MOM-MEH

Inspired by The New York Times Magazine's weekly Meh List, I decided I would put together my own Mom-meh List. Here are the ten things that I deem to be "meh" this week:

1. Spending $100 on a video that teaches your baby how to read
2. Coasters with family pictures
3. Pretzel goldfish
4. Designer diapers
5. Lalaloopsy
6. Pumpkin seeds
7. Winter crocs
8. Planes
9. Baby wipe warmers
10. Build-a-Bear

What would be on your Mom-meh List?

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